Sunday 13 April 2008

THE PANGS AND ANGST OF A FLEDGELING BLOGGER: IT SUCKS!

As a fledgeling blogger and a computer nerd, a few years back, I had no clear idea of the big nasty pond called World Wide Web and the queer blogsphere. Today, however, still it has not gotten any better. With every passing day, instead of becoming wiser, curiously I am turning into a frog in the pond, byte by byte. I remain isolated, quarantined and ignored even now and intensely feel the pangs of ostracization. Tell me what have I done to be ignored like an insignificant fly? Need I start blogging my epithet?
Like the gone by agonizing yesterdays, today also I keep on burning the midnight and midday oil and scarce bandwidth to daydream about my shiny visitors and readers hoping against hope that someday they will drop in, in droves to enthuse and encourage me to churn out extremely brilliant and seminal original posts and other palatable stuffs, not available elsewhere in the cosmos for sure. Yet, often I have felt being let down by my own estimation of myself and my abilities to attract the most precious but nowhere to be found cyber guests. I must inform you that in spite of my long…long wait like the hungry spider, the preys are nowhere to be seen or found—my be they are the much touted white elephants or near extinct species or more precisely they are the Dodos and nothing more. I have even come to console myself that actually the fellows do not exit at all and only part of a myth or folklore created to bamboozle some simpleton like me.
In my desperation and trough occasional bouts depression and angst, I have often prayed gods and tried to appease them by various known and unknown means to send me some visitors, who would drop by piously to say me hello and chant the encomiums. The gods have surely failed me and my faith is very fast eroding in forcing me to question the efficacy of divine intervention to procure visitors for my extraordinary and outstanding blog. Perhaps it is my sins of the past and present life that prevents me from being surrounded by the cooing, booing and jeering all important would be faithful followers of my blog empire.
The life of a sincere and hardworking blogger is certainly miserable as in my case, you know, when the comment boxes remain barren and the stat counter, digit less. It is therefore a sort of Herculean task to keep the nuts and bolts of my blog remain greased and kicking on the face of a cruel and parched drought of the never showing future visitors. I have, frankly left no stone unturned to appear attractive to lure the extra proud netizens with a neatly laid out side bar, alluring ad options that would perhaps made the cash hungry clickers a billionaire, overnight but to no avail. I often wondered, has the blogsphere is in fact a black hole into which I am sucked—for at this stage I am not able to say you for sure whether I am a matter or anti-matter?
It is question of getting noticed, receiving attention and being cared for. Without all these I am very fast becoming hapless haggard and a pathetic avatar with lonely times and a blog largely bereft of the footprints of my admirers. It is a difficult situation and I do not know how to get out of it?
May be tomorrow there will be a stampede and my blog will be at the top slot of Alexa traffic ranking and have a Google page rank of 11 out of 10. May be someday I will be famous and rich by blogging. May be after reading my post, the most holly and sacred and ubiquitous search engines would have pity on me and put at the top of any and all searches that will be sending me avid visitors leading to occasional crashes and clashes at my blog. May be very soon, I will have sooooo… much visitors that I will be issuing them tickets and ask them to be in queue and patient to view and read my important posts. But, before anything of that sort happens, and I am sure it would be, are you listening to me and ready to be my repeat visitor?
For now folks, I am done! Let me get ready to write my next extra brilliant post with renewed vigour and hope to enter the hall of shame and cause of blame.